My affair, with despair

Despair,
I have known
with an intimacy
I have known
no other

Her
caress
is porcelain,
almost frail
hypnotic

Her
linking of
the fingers
feather-like
tireless

Her
embrace
yielding, nimble
almost caged
not quite

The
first time
she took me by
surprise, of the
utmost kind

But
then again
the first time is usually
quite the shocker
in any case

When
she touched me
a second round’s worth
I reeled in anger
and in hurt

And
the third was
finally when I could
anticipate her
coming

O’course
in order to
prepare for arrival
one must know
at least how

And so
henceforth
I began testing
front, right,
and center

Which
equation of the
heart, mind, and body
generated what
result

She
came, and I
calculated what to
turn off, exactly when
and how much


Over
and over,
again and again,
on repeat
resolute

—from the archives ('14).

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