2006-12, in poetry

may just be

honesty though

ain't the only thing


forget not the importance of closure

or the reality of self-worth

for you need both, hand in hand,

to take you across

this river,

tribulations and ecstasy

even in the highs,

a hand to keep you steady

inspiration is music


in this state of being,

I am one with myself

and as disconnected as I feel

from the reality that is now,
there is a certain joy


in this moment,

of just me

I smile again,

I know I'll be okay

I can do this,

I smile again

that state of daze

an in between when life
comes to a standstill

you were looking forward

for so long
and now

there is nothing but the present



we write better when we are sad

I was told, once upon a time
when there is no hope
no one to turn to
we turn within


that little box
of poetry

and we get so good at it

that even where there is none
sadness, that is

we find it somewhere

brew it somehow

self-destructive, really

this penchant for art
the written word

oh, how important it is

excuses upon excuses
'nobody understands'
'I am all alone'

'in this dark, dark place'


along come by
a few like-minded souls
craving abyss


that is not the way to life

the way to life
is to live

and living means all

that is not numb
that is full
of life


getting back up
being found

facing all of that

which we hide
far away

in between the lines

I live to write

the written word
is the very essence
of my soul

but I want to be happy

and if that means


that is amiss


that has gone bad

then so be it


will always

be all

that is left of you


all hope

of another
in sync

and on call

it is that place in time

where sure, home is where the heart is

but home is also where home is

which, when you remember

aches the heart

the crows,

they sweep so low

pearly whites

clap in glee
running away
far, far away
nothing scares them

the bird,

just another playmate
laughter ensues

camera hogs

the one on the right
her name is Sumaiyya

I know

because the sister
just wouldn't shut

dancing about

their father's truck
back and forth
a nearby corner

his little shop


what then

call it quits, sure
but solace

a mere word

nothing of substance

nowhere to be found

and then what
answer yourself

checks and balances

an ad hoc system
of nothingness

but truth is

the only place
that search
will lead you
is within

and then,

there was no need

if all

it always
will come down to
is within
then with him
with her,
or whoever else

what does it matter

mundane, yes

abyss, no

happy is right there


get there

this poem feels devoid

of any inspiration
or wonder

there is no pain

suffering or negativity
passion and pleasure
both at a loss
for words

it is not numb

or hysterical
or still

there is no meaning

neither time or place
a constituent of life
in fragments
and shards


there is a kingdom

behind an ocean
far far away

trembling waves

the curve of her ankle
no escape

she stands

in peace

of vow

and covenant
simple and astute

for truth

a distinct fondness
this and that
never far


if the waves will part
her eyes, hungry


a speech to give

it never took off

could I stand there

a blank piece of paper
knowing all that I know

I cannot tell them

my soul is mine
bare, naked


everything is real

and everyone is broken

even in the man 

with despicable grammar

you can find strength

you've been smiling again

a wonder that somehow got lost
slowly starting to fill
the abyss


falling back in
whatever they call it these days



in the know
this time

has yet to simmer

but you know it will

a fire lit

of understanding
and wide, open spaces

I always did like The Dixie Chicks

I know now

pretty boys like pretty girls

never let go

of all that moves you



it moves you


it becomes you
and you don't even know

it leaves you confused

just out of grasp
so close


it is you
and you are happy

as can be

don't stop there

for there is much more to come

a long road, a long haul

so much baggage

and finally,

it is from you
only then is it complete

a full circle

for there is no true end


meri jaan

let your heart sing

snow is falling

this way and that

make up your mind

my soft friend

up and down

round and round

swirling and twirling

in a delayed frenzy

an entire horizon
of matte white

the picture, replaced
a frame that is the same
glistening laughter
shining faces

every now and then
a different song finds room
in my beating heart

hold me
arms aligned
so I can close my eyes
and sigh

no deep sea
big, beautiful eyes
but the shore

place a hand
where your heart is
like a lone walk
on the tide

when I get scared

I tell Amma
that I am

in Korean

to avoid explanation

of many a thing

and then

there is no point
when truth is devoid of the truth
big eyes only take you so far
and when it gets farther
what then?

we are all lonely
except that

we are not

take my heart
no, you take mine

hopscotch and solemn vows

shards of stained glass
crockery on sale

stop to think

pain and love
who gives a blah

too many stories

bugs and ballgowns
a conundrum of this and that

I digress


but with a sweet after-taste

not much of a craving


five mugs a day

have you ever?

beggars, ragged and torn

not angry at God
happy neither
grace the worn platforms
of the Indian railway

as I wave heartily

at everyone from Nana's home
baring teeth and darling smiles
tears that bite
a solemn goodbye

even when I am with them

my heart aches in remembrance
an embodying sense of doom
at the mere thought

of separation

my gaze, piercing

simple reed curtains
that come undone

at the mere jolt of a thin rope

much like Nana's house

an estranged sadness surrounds me

every time I think of him

I dont remember

but there should be an album
around here, somwhere

baby pictures

and the joy on his face

I know there is heaven

and he looks down

my heart breaks

every sight and sound
touch and smell

I must capture

this moment
of silent unrest
serene thunder

a lonely cart

wrecked beyond repair
glistens of morning dew
fate in tow

an empty street

remains of an everyday evening
kids in torn frocks
gap-toothed glee


pollution and madness
unabashed welcome
profound sweat

and as I embrace

my favourite place
a promise is made
your story will be told


make mine

the fundamentals of life

emphasize on the bigger picture
in the scheme of things
when even in dysfunction
there is function

what should be

and what should not
fit in even when standing out
a conundrum of order

this leaves me

outside my element
as I succumb inadvertently
to errors of spontaneity


all that was left behind
without room for what is to come
I roam the streets in a haze
without ever realizing
the preciousness
that is silence

the pressure is great

when I smile for the world
my grin is wider than comfort allows
but when it stems from within
full of meaning, it is softer

you take your time

sometimes lies
are those of silence

this time begs patience

my Lord
has put me to a test

your actions are meaningless

they bring
no pain or negativity

your indifference is of no use

if anything
it humbles me

your deliberation is hilarious

my sincerity no joke

always will I pray for you


because there is none

close your eyes

and take a deep breathe

the world is yours

hands in your pockets

hitch your wagon to a star

and just breathe

tomorrow is shady

toh kya

so was yesterday

this friend awaits your smile


within reach

one of those moments

like this song

seedhha dil se



somehow, the name

doesn't fall into place
I always thought
if you can go to bombay
you can dream
a dream

bombay fascinates me

not its shining page 3
but the dullness that dwells
on the huge rocks


sustenance from nothing
but the sky



Every day now, I smile

That smile of mine

Not one that takes your breath away

Or even one that makes you stumble

It creeps upon you

Unnoticed and treacherous

Webbing you into enchantments

Meddling with your brain

You cock your head to the side

Pretending to figure me out

But I know you know

All smug and nowhere to go

I know you wonder

How does she glow so?

My sunshine displeases you

Your discomfort is amusing

Not something you can create

It is a state of being

You pretend some more

Then shove those hands in your chinos

Over and over again

You play this game

Today is not your day

Tomorrow never was

And me?

I just smile

That smile of mine

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